Homicidal Motorcade: Tracking Down Murder Truck-kun
A Kontent Gyeongchal Special Investigation
Pedestrians fear him, Rom-com writers desperate for final act tension know him and all the while, Hyundai refuses to admit they manufactured a monster.
Warning: Minor spoilers for Times, Dear My Friend, The Merciless, Vincenzo, and Cheese in the Trap
Allow me to set the mood.
Its a Friday evening and you are snuggled up in your warm blankets to enjoy your favourite drama. Refreshment in hand, you watch attentively as the events of Drama K take place. Then, suddenly (if your drama K is a rom-com) the leads end up in some inexplicable and ultimately pointless argument. You shake your head.
"Here we go again. Another forced conflict/misunderstanding that will carry on for too long. This needs to end."
Monologuing to yourself further: "It is far too late into the drama for this shite AGAIN!"
You only feign spite, though. Ultimately, you're a drama queen and you're here for it. Only this time, the lovestruck imbeciles decide they will break all coordinal road safety rules and take their argument to the streets. You ಠ_ಠ. It is then, just as you are about to face palm into another realm, that you spot it. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot it. Just as the breath of your gasp escapes- a loud crash, the violins sound, and Murder Truck-kun has just yoot it's latest victim.
It is perhaps the most deadly mercenary in the genre. A 1 ton killing machine. Cutting through your favourite protagonists, catalyzing narratives or character arcs, and just being an all around heartless killer.
It is the one and only Murder Truck-kun or Truck of Doom depending on your circles. An almost mythical beast; it has transcended multiverses in Kdrama lore to devastating effects as the apex predator of throwing a wrench into your fine day.
Today, under special commission of the Kontent Gyeongchal's Office, we take a deeper look at the elusive baddy, backtracking its crimes and ranking its takedowns.
HYUNDAI KNOWS WHAT IT DID
Information on the origins of Murder Truck-kun is scarce if not non-existent. Like any good assassin, it is a presence rarely measured as the mobile nature of the mercenary is hard to counter act. Yet sightings are numerous and the many disguises it uses can be catalogued.
Hyundai H100 - Shipper's Insomnia
Cute ship you got going there. He's the haughty bad boy, she's the only one who can reign him in and this is the build that's all gas, no brakes to wreck that holy matrimony.
This stealthy disguise is the standard for Murder Truck-kun when the stakes need just a slight elevation. Perfect for its nefarious activities in the world of Rom-coms, where the biggest injures tend to be paper cuts. No, but seriously, call an ambulance, that 0.1 decimetre graze could be fatal.
In this disguise, Murder Truck-kun isn't as potent as others. Not withstanding, in the words of Phil Swift: "That's a lot of damage" either way.
Hyundai Porter II Special Vehicle -Whistle-Blowers Beware
Sometimes you just know too much. Are you peddling cooperate secrets, fleeing from assailants sent to bury the truth or maybe it's the ending of the second episode before next week? If you are any of the above, get ready to be bent like Beckham as you dent this Truck-kun's disguise. Built to kill or severely shock, the fatalities of this disguise are unmatched. It is Murder Truck-kun at its most potent.
A favourite for the political scandal makers and the biggest contributor to the K-drama's amnesia epidemic; proceed with caution when in sight.
Hyundai HD440 - Gods Angered and Timelines Altered
A far rarer disguise of our elusive baddy is this particular build. The largest of its appearances -your fav never stood a chance. When this Murder Truck is on the hunt, his victims are most certainly about to make an unexpected trip to the hereafter.
Not every time, though, is the charge entirely fatal. Sometimes it's to topple a prison bus or two or to send someone off, not to the stratosphere but a parallel time.
A MOW DOWN FOR EVERY OCCASSION
One cannot truly appreciate Murder Truck-kun's handiwork without looking at some of its finest moments. In this way, we can begin to understand even slightly the sheer power of the beast.
Dear My Friend's Absolutely Savage Screen Swipe
If you've seen it, you know. Arguably the best take down ever, Jo In Sung's encounter with the motorized assassin was beautifully choreographed and executed. You didn't see it, you didn't hear it but by god when it struck, it struck. Ploughing across the screen, the first glimpse after is the equally shocked and devastated face of Go Hyun Jung collapsing on the ground.
Vincenzo's Mafia Justice Awakens
Oh, you're inside, are you? Safe from the gears of our titular villain? Well, think again as Vincenzo reminds us that Doom is just a glass window away with this spectacular fender bender. Never mind that the establishing wide shot all but exposes the impending doom, the sheer audacity of it all is astonishing. An audacity that well describes the villainous Babel Corporation - sponsors of this particular hit.
The Merciless's Bumps That Can't Be Undone
Movies aren't immune from The Truckening, either. The Merciless emulates its title when a happy mother on her way to life-saving surgery is folded for no fault of her own. It is reveal that wrecks partners in crime, Sol Kyung Gu and Im Shi Wan, by exposing a brutal betrayal and shattering an already wavering trust. Just as the Hyundai HD440 disguised Murder Truck-kun cuts down Nam Ki Ae, so too is it tearing apart a brotherhood.
A dishonourable mention
"The hit that should have been"
Now I'm not the spiteful type but there are times in a drama where you just wanna see a character take to the skies. Clearly on a more personal note and not to bog down the special investigation with my own feelings, this portion has been redacted. To have a proper objective take on the contents of the report, this section can be avoided.
If you're a rebel, however, (⌐■_■)
Cheese in the Trap
If there is any drama where the Truck of Doom should have barreled through the cast, it was Cheese in The Trap. To say I absolutely hate that drama is an understatement. If Cheese in the Trap was an oasis in the desert, I'd die of thirst. It was a drama just so terrible for me, I had to watch it from beginning to end just so I'd have more reasons to continue hating it. So hilariously as the drama is coming to a close, essentially the same scenario described in the intro plays out; minus the lovers element. The set up was so obvious. Yet when it came time for Kim Go Eun to get clapped by the Doom Mobile as I had hoped, she got bent by Suburban Sniper instead!
My disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined. To the bitter end, Cheese in the Trap just couldn't deliver anything satisfactory.
The Investigation's Findings
From the information assessed and the various case studies presented, Murder Truck-kun is a dangerous beast. It transcends genres, carries no remorse, takes no prisoners, and heck, is an international foe. Disguised in its many builds, it serves as not just a merciless slasher but a valid catalyst in various regards. An apex predator of the K-drama cliché kingdom. Proceed with caution when in sight.
To provide the Kontent Gyeongchals with more information vital to gathering more information on this elusive criminal, please follow the instructions posted here: https://mydramalist.com/discussions/korean-dramas-movies-variety-shows/61041-kontent-office-hotline-murder-truck-kun-sightings-reported-here
Your cooperation is appreciated .
Never forget, Hyundai knows ⚆_⚆